


You Cheated

by Allswellthatends



Category: Star Wars - All Media Types, Star Wars Episode VII: The Force Awakens (2015)
Genre: A Kenobi, Ben gets a childhood love and shits cute, F/M, OG character, Oral, Rough Sex, She's real cool, Zappha Wan Kenobi, but lets all be trash together, but there will be sex, i am trash and so is kylo ren
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-01-16
Updated: 2016-06-22
Packaged: 2018-05-14 05:17:11
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 6
Words: 11,279
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5730826
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Allswellthatends/pseuds/Allswellthatends
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Stranded on a planet alone for ten years, Zappha Wan Kenobi's life is given back to her in a flash as Luke Skywalker's ship emergency lands on her isolated home. <br/>Discovering theres another Jedi alive and trained the resistance rejoices. But ghosts from the past resurface leaving Zappha to discover if she's ready to come home to her family, her sister and the Light. <br/>If only she can leave the boy she loved behind in the Dark. </p>
<p>Kylo Ren | Ben Solo and an Original Female character<br/>They fight, they fuck, it's fun.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter One

**Author's Note:**

> Hello peoples!
> 
> Thank you for reading. I'm a little newer to the Star Wars fandom but hey I fell in love with this trash can named Kylo Ren and here we are. 
> 
> Enjoy!

Waves crash all around the mountain, animals buzz and hunt, the air sticks to her cheeks in thick humid caresses. But that must be blocked out in order to dive into the power of the Force.

            Eyes closed, breathe, in and out. She sits, her legs woven in front of her as the world blurs around the edges and she looses herself in the Force. The wind howls softly in her ear, salty air from the west catching her nose distractingly. But all she wills herself to see are the little lights dancing in the edge of her consciousness. For years there’d only been one light, gathered at the edge of the Galaxy. She’d noticed a second only a year before.

            Zappha opens her eyes, wide, she peers up at the endless blue sky framed by the tangle of trees and vines.

            _You see them, child?_ Her grandfather’s voice sounds from behind her and ripples through her mind like a pat on the back. She turns to the familiar, old face, his figure all blur and static.

            Giving him a curt nod, she stands. “They’ve started the girl’s training. She’s strong, very strong. I wonder who she is, I haven’t seen power like this since—“ She stops herself before saying something she’ll regret.

            _Skywalker is training her._ He says through the Force.

            “Skywalker is a fool and a failure.” Zappha responds through her teeth, an inherent rage pooling in her belly. As to not loose control she fists her hand and releases the fingers, calming her temper.

            _Careful, child, he was my student at one point._ Her grandfather floats towards her. Zappha looks at the withered face, living in the Force, like a child she wants to reach out and wrap her arms around him, find comfort in her only living family. But knows that all her arms would find is air.

            “I’m sorry, Grandfather.” His blurry hand brushes her cheek in a paternal pat, she sees it through the corner of her eye, but feels nothing. It’s been years since she’s known any kind of touch.

            Zappha brushes off the flutter of loneliness and strolls out of the clearing to her little shack in the jungle, she balances on the taught bridge to her home, feeling it sway in the sea breeze.

When inside she slips off her worn slippers and checks her sabers, clicking on the purple light to see how they’re holding up. She fiddles with a gear and checks the crystal inside. Satisfied she pulls off her outer robe and sits in her hammock. Laying back she stares up at the ceiling.

            Rarely does her mind let her sleep peacefully. Either she tosses and turns through nightmarish memories of the crash, or she falls into a death sleep and watches, helplessly, as the First Order kills her family, again and again and again. Instead of sleep she likes to imagine what her life might have been like if the ship taking her to University didn’t crash, if she wasn’t stranded on this damn planet and if her loved ones still believed her alive. _If they were still alive_ , she reminds herself. But these indulgences can only be explored every so often or the weight of her sorrow would drown her. She would be dead already if her grandfather hadn’t come from the Force to save her, to teach her. Maybe one day, through this new Jedi, or even the damned Skywalker, she could get off this hot, humid rock.

            Against her better judgment her body falls into a deep sleep, and once again she’s wracked with visions of her little sister being run through with a fiery, red Lightsaber. A masked man stands above the child, raising his red sword high before coming down upon her childhood love, another Jedi dead and gone.

She awakes with sobs stuck in her throat, jolting to awareness. The rush of the nightmare never fails to rid her of grogginess. Zappha jumps from her bed, wiping away the unwanted tears and wraps herself in her thick robe. With small fingers she readjusts her clothes. The bindings around her chest make it easier to run, her waist is covered by draping fabric remints from her travel robes, a light blue color faded from the rich navy they once were. Ten years of sun exposure and washing wore on the wool. Her legs are bound in wraps to protect her legs from the underbrush while running, with a hide skirt scrapped from her handmade robe. She unties her hair and brushes it out with her fingers, yanking roughly through the tangles as it flutters in a deep red around her shoulders. Taking the pieces before they get used to being free, she quickly braids down, the tail resting on the back of her thighs. Grabbing her head wrap that protects her face from the sun she ties it around her neck, not willing to stifle her breathing just yet, the morning being too humid already.

            Even in the hot air of the jungle she shivers, as the cold metal of her lightsabers touch her back as she adjusts her strap. It’s before dawn but she won’t sleep anymore, so she leaves her hut to go and gather something to eat and maybe watch the sunrise.

            As she walks to the shore, downhill, and dreads the return, uphill, she lets her mind wander into the Force. Sometimes she gets snippets of thoughts from others. Mostly from Skywalker, sometimes another shadowed mind she can’t place. Zappha refuses to focus on that mind, she recognizes the Dark Side and their seductions.

            A loud noise breaks her out of the Force. She pulls her veil over her face and draws one of her lightsabers, having both strapped to her back. The glow of the purple light makes her smile, she feels safe with it flickering in her palm, she feels strong, she feels like her grandfather.

            Exhaust wafts from the east. _A crash,_ she thinks, unable to contain the smile on her lips at the thought of seeing other people, anyone. Her pace lifts to a run as she makes her way towards the noise, towards the smell. As she nears the wreck voices light in her ears. Zappha breathes heavily, not from the run, but from excitement. Having only heard her own voice and that of a ghost’s for ten years, she waits at the rim of the forest, looking through the vines.

            Two people move around an old ship, the engine is smoking in puffs of thick dark grey. A pair of legs stick out from the hatch as a young man hollers up at her from the ground. Another man exits the ship, laughing when he sees the scene. Man one scolds him unconvincingly.

            “She could hurt herself!” He says, his voice dripping with worry.

            “I think she can take care of herself, Finn.” The second man laughs again only to have man one ( _Finn, his name is Finn,_ she smiles) rush him playfully.

            The legs respond, “Thank you!” Muffled through the metal. Zappha has to keep herself from laughing along at the sass in the young woman’s voice.

            “Where are we, anyway?” Finn asks, turning and looking around. Zappha pulls herself back into the foliage, not wanting to be seen quite yet.

            “Eh, some protected planet, it doesn’t have a native species and most of it’s under protection from the Republic, for you know, nature.” The other man takes a flower bud in his hand, Rethis Ex, it cures stomachaches, she knows it well.

            “The engine is gonna need to cool off before we continue to the General. We can camp here for the night, right?” The woman had dislodged herself from the ship’s engine. She stands tall, taller than Zappha by a good many inches. Her eyes are a lovely green, and have a twinkle of something familiar in them that Zappha can’t place. She feels an urge to protect this girl, who reminds her of someone. _But who?_

            “Good, it will give us some time to meditate before moving on.” A voice calls from inside, deep and rusted. Zappha’s head snaps up in urgent recognition. Skywalker.

            He appears from the hold in a long brown robe, the ones of the Jedi Masters. A scruffy beard covers his once bright face, his eyes are full of weariness. Zappha almost lunges, but stops herself. She doesn’t know how strong he is, she can’t risk it when he has three allies in reach.

            Before allowing herself to do something stupid she flees, running quietly through the vines until she’s breaks into her clearing. There’s no sign of her grandfather, but she sits anyways, closing her eyes and trying to find peace in the Force. Both lights shine so brightly in her peripherals. _That must be the new Jedi,_ she thinks. Zappha looses herself in mediation as she tries to calm her nerves.

            A rustle of leaves wakes her too late as three figures come into the edge of her awareness. With a slight turn of her head she sees Skywalker, the girl and Finn. Zappha returns to meditating, praying they might leave her alone until she’s gathered the gall to confront Skywalker.

            “Excuse me?” Finn yells from the edge of the clearing, the corner of her mouth tilts up as she hears both his companions shush him.

            With feigned grandeur and grace she stands, turning to face the man responsible for the deaths of everyone she ever loved.

            Skywalker’s face falls, his eyes beading with recognition and, if she’s reading him right, shame.

            “Zappha Wan?” He asks stepping forwards tentatively.

            “Hello Luke.” She tries lace her words with venom, her bravado not as strong as she’d like it. A part of her tugs back to her childhood. For a moment she sees the man that helped raise her, not the bastard who got her family killed.

            “Zappha Wan, I thought you were dead. You’re ship crashed, they said no one--” He takes more steps, she does not move. Her limbs frozen stiff, unable to look away.

            “I survived.” Was all she could choke out, feeling her rage simmer and dissipate into nothing but a tickle at the edge of her heart, the good memories winning out. She tries to hold onto her anger, but fails, letting it fly through her fingers as her shoulders relax and her hands ache to reach out.

            “Who?” The girl asks, Zappha turns her attention to her, feeling that pull of recognition again.

            Skywalker stands between her and his companions, he turns back, beckoning them forth. Zappha watches her as she walks up, long limbed and willowy. But she sees the muscle moving under her stride, this girl is strong. A wave of power hits her like a blaster, Zappha consciously keeps herself from stumbling. This girl is powerful, the Force seeps from her like misting rain.

            “Zappha, my apprentice, Rey.” And as soon as he says the name, she knows. But before she can cry out, scream in joy, he shakes his head, using the Force to speak to her mind.

            _Say nothing. She doesn’t know._ Zappha wants to hit him, run, jump, celebrate, but she nods and tries to breathe steadily as her feet take her calmly to Rey. Her Rey. With heavy arms that wish they could do so much more she reaches up and offers her hand to shake, Rey take her hand and grips it tightly, smiling a perfect little smile. Ten years without feeling the touch of another human being weighs on her. _Ten years thinking you were dead and gone._ Zappha forces herself to keep cool, to not give it away, but she wants so badly to fall into the arms of this ghost from her past.

            What breaks Zappha’s heart is the lack of any recognition behind those green eyes. Without thinking she pulls the younger woman into a hug, holding her for a moment and clenching her eyes shut so the tears won’t spill.

            “It’s been awhile. Sorry.” Her voice shakes as she makes herself let go.

            “It’s alright.” Rey hugs are again and Zappha lets herself indulge for a moment. “This is Finn.” She gestures to the man behind her, he smiles and opens his arms for a hug.

            Without hesitation she hugs the stranger, like an addict needing her fix, she’s addicted to human contact for the moment.

            “Zappha, why didn’t you reach out? I feel the Force in you. I would have come, I would have found you.” Skywalker puts his hand on her shoulder and she hurls herself into him, he takes her, lifting her hunger-pained frame in his old arms.

            “It took too long to learn how.” She gasps through relived sobs, the words barely making sense. “By the time I’d mastered the Force in my mind… I… Everyone was dead. I was alone… You’re light was so small… I was meditating when it happened, the—when everyone died—I didn’t know how and it hurt so much---”

            “Sh, it’s okay. I’m here, Zappha, I’m here. We’ll take you home.” He strokes her hair.

            Behind him she sees her grandfather, smiling sadly. He nods and vanishes into thin air. _It is your time to take back your life, child, and help save the Universe._

            Zappha lets Luke hold her for a moment before her rage brews again in her belly, reminding her why she hated him for all these years. She pushes off him and regains her composure.

            “They’re all dead, aren’t they?” She asks, her voice hard again.

            Skywalker simply stares at her, fear in his eyes, a fear of the truth. “Zappha—“

            “My brother. My sister…” She keeps herself from looking at Rey “… Ben. They’re all dead, aren’t they?” She waits and when he doesn’t respond she explodes. “They’re dead because of your failure! You let one of your students into the darkness and this is what happened! My family is dead! Dead!” Her rage bubbles in her skin with the power of the Force. She knows the Dark Side feeds on anger, so she stifles it as much as she can. If anyone has an inherent temper, it’s her. But even the great Luke Skywalker cannot defend himself against her claims.

            “I watched your brother die, he threw himself in front of a young boy apprentice. He died with honor.” Luke’s voice shakes.

            “And Ben?” She asks, her heart growing cold as she pushes down the memories. “Ben died too.”

            “Ben Solo is dead, Zappha.” His voice is even, but from the corner of her eye she sees Rey look at Finn and Finn shrug.

            “What now, Luke?” She asks, feeling drained again. Her skin tingling from contact, her eyes burning with the need to cry, and her body sore from excitement.

            “Come with us to the Resistance. I never in a million years thought I’d find another Kenobi. Finish the fight your grandfather started.” He reaches his hand towards her. She takes it, feeling the warm fingers press into her sweaty palms.

            “Yeah, it’ll be nice to have someone else around. It’ll be nice having another girl around.” Rey says, hooking her arm through Zapphas. They walk back towards their ship and Finn clears the forest for them. She sneaks a look at the girl beside her.

            A tear catches in the corner of her mouth as she takes in the grown woman her little sister has become.


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Zappha has a bad dream, Rey is Bae, things happen?

That night Zappha wakes with a start, the familiar dream turning to Ben instead of Rey. She watches helplessly as he’s speared through by a dark masked soldier. Her scream resonates off the metal walls as the light above her flicks on and arms are suddenly around her.

            Rey rocks her as she shakes and gasps through the nightmare’s end.

            The two women sit together in their sisterly embrace. Rey pats her hair comforting as best she can.

            “It’s so long.” She murmurs, giggling a little.

            “Ten years without a haircut does that to you.” Zappha responds with the nightmare fading into a dull ache.

            “How did you get on this planet?” Rey asks innocently.

            “I was on my way to train as a medical officer in the Republic Capital, and my ship veered off course and crash landed here. The Force woke in me and saved my life. I’ve been here ever since.” Zappha’s hides her shock at how easily she explains the worst moment of her life.

            “I was stuck on a planet too. Jakku, have you heard of it? When I was eight, I think, I was left there by my family.” Zappha shifts out of Rey’s hold and looks at her face.

            “They just left you?” Zappha asks, unable to look at her, the guilt ripping through her gut. _I should have been there to protect you._

            “I guess. I don’t remember much from before that. Only what the Force shows me.” She shrugs and looks away.

            Without thinking Zappha reaches out and brushes the permanent flyaway back, feeling the tug in her stomach as a memory surfaces. From when Rey was little and she used to gather her hair into little buns, just like it’s kept now. “I can promise you one thing, Rey. Your family would never leave you. Know that.”

            Rey nods and smiles shyly, her eyes burning with curious confusion. The statement hangs in the air. Zappha worries for a moment that she’s given it all up, that Rey will know and Luke will want to kill her for telling. _I don’t care._

            Finn runs into the room, his eyes squinted with sleep.

            “Hey, Poe’s caught something on Radar.”

            Both women jump up, Rey takes his hand and Zappha watches as something passes between them. They run to the Bridge. Luke and Poe are both staring at the Radar with worry ridden faces.

            “Another ship, it’s not Republic or Resistance.” Poe’s voice is tired, he yawns midsentence.

            “It’s the First Order, they’ve tracked us. Snoke must be strengthening Ren.” Luke says as he rubs his face, pacing away from them.

            “What do we do? I’m not strong enough to face him again. Not yet.” Rey’s fidgeting with her tunic, scratching herself, nervously. Finn wraps an arm around her shoulders and pulls her into him. Zappha feels the urge to protect them both, the happiness they could have, she sees that her sister has people who love her. If this Ren is responsible for everything, for her brother, for Ben… She could face him and she could kill him.

            “I might be.”

            They all turn and look at Zappha, she stands almost a head shorter than most of them. But holds her shoulders strong and waits for their response, staring at Luke.

            “Zappha, we just got you back. We’re not going to lose you again. Leia wouldn’t forgive me for that and trust me, she’s forgiven a lot.” He runs his hand through his grey streaked hair, stressed.

            “The ship isn’t cooled down all the way, the air is too hot. We can’t take off for another hour or so.” Poe says, checking the time.

            “So what do we do?” Rey’s almost shouts, her fear evident.

            “I know what I’m going to do. You all get the ship as ready as you can, the sea is right down the hill, just head south and gather water. It might cool the engine. I’ll head west and lead them off, circle round the mountain and meet up with you as we take off. There, plan.” Luke is watching her, the rest watch Luke, waiting for his answer.

            “Okay.” He whispers. Rey runs right up to her.

            “Should I come with you?” She asks with panic stricken eyes.

            “No, no, Rey. They know who you are and if I’m guessing correctly they’re after you. Right, Luke?” Zappha asks over her shoulder as she walks back to the little bunker they gave her.

            “Right.” Luke’s voice has changed into Jedi Master mode as he gets down to business telling Finn and Poe what to do. They fade into the distance as Zappha runs to get her gear, Rey follows.

            “Zappha, who are you?” Rey finally asks, standing in the frame of her door.

            “What do you mean?” Zappha covers badly, keeping her face turned away. She tucks her lightsabers into their sheaths on her back and clips a knife to her waist.

            “Luke knows you, obviously, and I have this feeling I should too.” When she turns there are tears in Rey’s confused eyes. The girl looks like she’s grasping for something, searching in the Force for answers.

            “The Force won’t give you the answers you seek, Rey.” Zappha pats her shoulder before sliding past her and out to the ramp.

            “But you can, can’t you?” Rey runs after her, catching up quickly with her long legs. She feels the pull on her arm as her sister catches her.

            “Not right now, Rey.” Zappha doesn’t want to have this conversation. She shakes her off. It’s not her fault Luke didn’t give Rey enough credit to figure it out. Zappha hadn’t tried that hard to hide it either. _Just stay safe, please, Rey._

            “Then when? You’re about to face Kylo Ren, I can feel him in the Force, near here. He’s, well, he’s not nice and you’ve never even fought anyone before if you’ve been stranded on this island for ten years and--“

            “Rey, listen to me. It will all be revealed in due time. But Luke had a reason for keeping things from you, and if he does then I have to trust him on that. Stay on board. I’ll come right around as soon as I loose them in the sinking pits. I know this forest like the back of my hand, you don’t have to worry about me.” Zappha pulls her in, hugs her tight and lets go without looking back.

            “I won’t let them leave without you, Zappha Wan Kenobi.” Rey calls after her.

            “Don’t worry about me, Rey!” She responds over her shoulder.

            Rey’s voice fades behind the greenery, but she still hears.

            “Your family will never leave you.”

            She hears light footsteps on metal as Rey returns to the ship and a smile spreads over her lips.


	3. Chapter 3

The jungle is quiet as she tracks, following the smell of exhaust illuminating her path like a beacon. Fumes like that are too out of place in the green wonderland. Zappha keeps her steps silent as she nears the enemy ship. The wildlife has dissipated and the weight of Dark power presses on her shoulders.

            Before she makes it to the ship there’s a breaking in the trees and a group of Stormtroopers gather around a helmed man. He’s dressed all in black, a beaten mask hiding his face. He’s tall, his cape fluttering behind him in the humid breeze. _The man of nightmares, I know you._

            She watches them talk until the troopers return to their ship and the masked man makes his way north, up the mountain. Not being close enough to over hear, she wrinkles her nose, unsure of what’s drawing him away from his troops.

Staying a good breathe behind him as he climbs she takes note of his sure movements, his lack of hesitation and his confident step. All important factors to know when sizing up an opponent.

            _This must be that Ren character they all fear so much._ She thinks bitterly as she trails him.

            After climbing for about twenty minutes he stops at a cliffs edge, barren of any trees except for the one line of forest. Keeping her distance, she brings her veil up and around the bottom half of her face to muffle her breathing. He simply stands, looking out over the sea and jungle below them. For some reason her heart beats faster.

            “You can come out now.” His voice is mechanic, rasping through the helmet like the one from her nightmares. _This must be the Sith,_ she realizes.

            Drawing both her weapons she steps into the clearing without hesitation, he doesn’t turn, but stays with his back to her as if he perceives no threat whatsoever. He is mistaken.

            She clicks her lightsabers into action, letting the purple beams shine in the early morning light, their blades going no more than a foot and half out. _He’s watching the sunrise…_ she thinks amusingly.

            With a quick step to the side he turns to face her. Even with his face covered she registers his shock. She’s also pleased with herself for covering her face, if she can’t see his, he won’t see hers.

            “And who might you be?” He asks calmly, looking her up and down, that mechanic voice grating on her ears.

            “Who are you?” She retorts without answer, feeling the need to hide.

            “I have to say I was expecting someone else.” There seems to be amusement in the cold voice.

            “Sorry to disappoint but that’s what you get for facing dramatically out into the sunrise.” She watches as he flinches from her harsh tone, her voice has an ability to cut. It always has.

            Ren takes a step towards her. The Force bristles on her skin from his annoyance.

            “Show me your face, Jedi.” He lifts his hand and she doesn’t respond in enough time to block his use of the Force. Her veil flies into the wind, revealing her face to this monster from her nightmares. _This is the one that killed my family,_ she almost lunges into an attack, but her training tells her to wait for the moment he least expects.

            Zappha stares him down, holding her chin high. Even without a reflection she knows she can be striking if she holds herself the right way. Looking at her sister anyone would see the resemblance. Her jaw is strong, her nose upturned and her eyes as blue as the sea at dusk. Stray hairs whip around her bare face in a brilliant dark red. Bright freckles stand out against her pale skin, their rich color coming from years in the hot sun.

            Ren’s still, his body tense.

            “You’re dead.” He whispers, but the mask projects so she can hear. Zappha’s heart beats faster as she races to figure out who this man is.

            “Who are you?” She demands, her voice wavering. There have been too many reunions in the past day, and her stomach drops to think someone she once knew would turn to the Dark Side.

            “This is impossible.” He says, stepping away from her, she follows, walking forward.

            “Take off your mask, and show me who you are!” Her voice reverberates through the jungle and the Force as she tries to _make_ him obey her.

            Zappha is unsure whether it was her mind control or of his own accord that he clicks the mask and pulls it off his head. She’s afraid to look, and keeps her head to the side as he lets it fall from his hand and roll on the ground. When it lands in her line of vision she forces herself to look up.

            “Ben?”

            Her breath catches and she feels that familiar rage and fear and longing twist in her chest. Ben Solo, Ben, her Ben.

            “No.” Is all he says, but his voice is the same. Deep and smooth and slightly shaking at all times. “I’m not him.”

            “Yes, yes, you are.” She takes a giant step forwards but stops herself, reminding her body what he is. _He might be Ben but he’s also a Sith, he’s also Ren._

            “No. “ He has the same black, scruffy hair. Her hand aches in memory, remembering the feeling his hair between her fingers. His long nose is the same, but something is different about his face.

            A long scar runs down through his brow and cheek, crossing from one side to the other. It’s pale white, iridescent in the early sun. His eyes look black without the light facing them, but she knows that warm brown and she knows how to loose herself in it.

            Zappha’s anger swells, his denial is warring on his face, but she knows. But if he is Ren, if he’s the one to betray Luke, to betray the Light, he killed her brother, abandoned her sister and he’s killed many more.

            “Then who are you?” She screams., unwilling to feign composure.

            “The Force is strong in you. I always knew it would be.” He answers, ignoring her question. Her blood boils at his patronizing tone.

            “What is your name?” She rephrases.

            “Don’t—“

            “WHAT IS YOUR NAME?” Zappha is at her breaking point, tears stream freely down her face as she raises her lightsabers.

            “Kylo Ren.” He wails and she attacks.

            Dodging her first lunge effectively, he rolls, dancing to the side. With a growl she swerves her momentum, he doesn’t move enough to avoid the sting of her right saber as it brushes his leg, slicing his cloak and searing his skin.

            With a swift movement he draws his own Lightsaber, a red monstrosity that flickers with untamed power.

            She blocks him as he brings it down to her left, sliding under him as he tries to drive her down with his weight. Ren underestimates her strength as she shoves his back, wincing slightly as he makes contact with the ledge of the mountain. Unwittingly giving him an in she feels the burning of his lightsaber on her upper arm. Recovering her wits when he swings his saber up and around arcing it impressively, she dips out from his range.

            Zappha sprints to the tree line and kicks herself off a thick trunk, projecting herself using the Force towards him and catching his massive saber in-between her two short swords when he tries to bring it down on her. Using all her strength she shoots it back behind her, it sticks in the ground about ten feet away. Her legs land on either side of his hips as she pins him, holding one of her sabers to his throat.

            His hands are flat on the ground as he peers up at her, she feels the heat of his body and is transported back to another time and another life when she’d find herself in this position for a very different reason.

            “Are you going to kill me, Zappha Wan?” He says her name and her vision blurs with tears. She watches with a sick pleasure as a few tears escape the corner of his eye, at least he’s in as much pain as she is. A part of her wants to kiss him, another to kill him. She knows if she takes too long weighing her options it will give him an out.

            “Don’t tempt me.”

            _Zappha!_ A voice calls to her through the Force. _Rey,_ she calls back. _Are you okay! I felt your pain._ Rey’s mind is panicking. Zappha looks into her open current and sees that the ship is ready to go.

            Before she can respond to tell them she’s coming something strong hits her mind. Grogginess runs through her veins. It hits again, pressing down. She fights it.

            Standing, she releases the hold on the man that she used to know. He follows quickly, staying near her. Her sabers deactivate and fall from her hands as another mental hit racks her body. She watches as he picks both of them up and tucks them in the folds of his robes. He’s watching her with tentative eyes, but she’s only focusing on not falling asleep, which seems too much to ask of her body. He strikes again, gently and tenderly, deeper in her mind than she thought possible for a Jedi to go.

            _Go. Leave right now. He has me. I’m done._ Zappha sends into the Force, hoping Rey hears and gets them out of here. _I love you, Rey. Sister…_

            A sea wind rips through the clearing, wiping his cloak up and around him like a wave of ink. With a final strike her legs go weak and she feels her knees buckle as her muscles relax without permission. A strong arm wraps around her waist as he keeps her from falling to the ground. He smells different than he should, she realizes blandly.

            “You cheated.” She utters as the darkness tunnels her vision.

            “It’s the only way I can win against you.” His eyes lock with hers as the world goes black.


	4. Chapter 4

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Zappha and Ben duke it out a little.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The smuts is coming be patient grasshoppers.

Something cold digs into her wrist.

            Opening her eyes is harder than it should be. The lids feel heavy and the room is dimly lit, but it feels too bright. After gaining enough strength to lift her head off the chilly surface she examines her surroundings. From the slight hum in the air she knows she’s moving, on a ship most likely. The room is mechanic, metal, shining silver and chrome. Zappha pulls at her wrists, both strapped down in an interrogation chair, her ankles bound as well. The sour taste of fear rises in her throat.

            Movement to her right ignites her senses, she whips her head to the side only to see the dreaded Kylo Ren leaning against the far wall. He’s put his mask back on and his arms are crossed. She thinks he’s staring at her, examining her, but behind the black nothingness covering his readable face, she can’t tell.

            “Well, Ben? What now?” She asks, doing everything in her power to keep her voice even. He tenses when she uses his real name, and it feels like a small victory.

            Remaining quiet, he watches her.

            “Are you going to stand there all night or say something?” She asks, not afraid to show her annoyance.

            He doesn’t move.

            “Say something!” She almost looses control, but regains herself and looks forwards, not willing to stare at that damned mask for another second.

            “Only a year ago I had a very different guest in a very similar room.” The mask muffles his voice; it makes it easier to think it’s not him. She reminds herself that even though it looks like Ben it’s not Ben. Not the Ben she remembers anyways. “How is Rey? I’m told you two have had your reunion.” When she doesn’t respond he continues. “Now it’s your turn to say something. Where are they headed? I need you to tell me the location of the Resistance Camp.”

            Zappha laughs, the harsh sound bouncing and echoing around the otherwise silent room. It’s not a pretty laugh, it’s rough and hard, like nails scraping down the metal sheeting that covers her little prison. Returning her gaze to him, she curves her lips into a forced grin that’s closer to a sneer.

            “Do you mock me?” He removes his helm and stares her down with those familiar, dark eyes. _Put it back on, Bastard. Its not really you in that mask. I can pretend it’s not you._

            “Always, Ben.” She can’t help but smile at how ridiculous this all is. How Ben is the one who’s had her strapped to a chair, how Ben is the one who killed them all, how Ben is no longer Ben and yet still so much like himself it hurts.

            “Stop calling me that.” He yells, his hand flying to his lightsaber’s hilt. Eyes flashing with hot rage and a slit of pain.

            “Are you going to kill me, Ben?” She asks with feigned fear or real fear, she’s beyond knowing the difference. It’s not in her nature to fear Ben Solo. But she’s still not sure if this man could ever be considered _him._

            “Don’t tempt me.”

            She smirks. Never forgetting anything. _Just like always.._.

            “Now, tell me what I want to know. Now and I won’t hurt you.” He steps forwards, looming over her. There’s something different in the set of his face, but there’s fear there too. It’s satisfying knowing that they’re both dancing on the line between feigned fear and real fear. That they’re both playing with bravado nearing it’s expiration date. He keeps his distance, not invading her personal space, if anything it seems as if he’s keeping himself from getting too close.

            “You know I’ll never give her up. Your First Order friends will never touch Rey again.” Zappha sneers, she turns her head away from him. For the moment she doesn’t care about maintaining the power, looking at him is becoming too much to bear and she refuses to cry in front of this ghost again.

            “Rey is strong. I can teach her. I can teach you too, Zappha. If you want.” The last part he whispers on his exhale, the warm breath hitting her cheek.

            “Rey has a teacher, as do I. Kenobi’s don’t deal with the Dark Side.” He turns away from her, annoyance and cold fury lacing his next demand.

            “I can take it from you! I can dig in and take it.” She can sense the tantrum coming ( _why are you so predictable?_ ) but she will not give in.

            “Try it, Ben. I am not some untrained Padawan for you to manipulate.” She keeps her head turned to the side, still refusing to look at him.

            Throwing up her shields in expectation she waits for the hit. When he strikes with the Force it’s like dunking her naked body in ice water after being scrubbed raw with salt. She pushes back, throwing her entire Force power at him and she hears him slam into the back wall as he’s shoved from her mind.

            “How—How did you—“ His voice shakes more than ever.

            “I told you, Ben. I’ve trained and I am no student to be patronized and _taught,_ especially not from you.” She tries to use the Force to open her binds, but the metal clasps hold firm.

            “Tell me!” He screams at her, she snaps her head to look forwards, still fearing the weakness she feels when she looks into his eyes.

            When she says nothing he rushes to her side, she can feel his hot breath on her cheek, no longer warm and enticing, but burning and striking. His long hair brushes her ear as he waits for her to break, wills her to break. Her fingers ache to reach up and touch that hair she knows too well.

            “Look at me.” He growls, burning frustration pooling on her neck from his heavy breathing. His hand comes into her vision, hovering right above her chin as if he wants to grasp it and force her to look at him. But he hesitates and lets his hand stay, not touching.

            “What is it, Ben? Afraid that if you touch me I’ll drag your ass back to the light whether you like it or not?” Her voice is taut but she keeps it even as her heartbeat races.

            He retreats roughly; retrieving his mask and clicking it back into place. He walks to the doors, all she can hear is the soft clicking of his shoes and then silence. With a dramatic exhale she relaxes.

            “Sleep.” He hits her with a wave of the Force. She resists and throws it back. With a yell he hits himself, she hears the heavy contact of his fist on his side and this time he sends the command right into the depths of her mind.

            And for the second time at the fault of Kylo Ren, her world goes black.


	5. Chapter 5

Zappha’s sleeping mind melds with something in the Force. A dream wraps around her and she’s floats into the past. Memories flood her senses, delivering her into a world she wanted to forget.

            Everything starts in a blur, becoming clearer and a brighter as the send of dust and forest fills her senses and she can feel the hot sun on her face.

            She stands on a bench, overlooking the landing platform for starships. It’s already noon. The ship is supposed to have landed fifteen minutes ago and her foot taps with impatience and annoyance at their tardiness.

            After waiting for another five minutes she spots it in the sky, coming out of light speed, and slowing to land. There’s no one else at the station, so when he walks out into the bright sunlight she knows he’ll spot her there. Waiting, uplifted, all for him.

            Ben’s hand goes to cover his eyes from the invasive light as he steps down the ramp and onto the ground. She waves to him, beaming a giddy grin, and he tilts his head up, a brilliant smile to match spreading across his face as he walks quickly towards her. She skips to the end of the bench and waits.

            “Are you my ride?” He hollers, his rich voice resonating through her as she shakes with excitement.

            “Why? Disappointed?” She teases.

            “Just worried for both of our lives, no big deal.” He’s almost there, his pace picks up, but with those long legs it doesn’t take long for him to make it clear of the ship.

            “I am a fantastic driver, so you know, Ben Solo.” He’s almost there.

            With a sweep of his arms she lifts into the air, spinning around as he presses her against him. She slips down in the embrace, her chin resting on his shoulder as his lips find the side of her neck and she feels him inhale.

            “You smell the same.” He murmurs, the sound muffled by her skin.

            “Weirdo.” She presses into him tighter, not wanting to let go yet.

            “It’s been a long year, Zappha. Too long.” He pulls back but doesn’t let go of her.

            “I have something to tell you.” She touches his face, pushing a dark strand back from where it always falls in front of his eyes.

            “Shoot.” He smiles and before she says anything she leans in and kisses him lightly, almost tentatively. Like it’s their first all over again. When she pulls away his hand slides into her hair, weaving in his grip and pulling her towards him in a passionate kiss, their mouths move in tandem, dancing over each other with experience. She nips his bottom lip and pulls back as his mouth chases her.

            “Wait, come on, I have to tell you something. It’s important.” She playfully scolds.

            “More important than this?” He leans in, his hand moving from her hair and around to grasp her chin, capturing her in a kiss again.

            “Yes, you’re making me out of breath and I need breath to speak.” She huffs, blowing her flyaway strands up around her face like a breaking wave.

            “Are you saying I take your breath away?” He smirks and leans down to kiss the hollow of her neck.

            “Shut up.” She laughs, and leans her head back a little to give him better access. “I got accepted to the Republic University.” Her voice is timid as she says it out loud, his lips still and he uses his hand to cup her face, so he can look in her eyes.

            “That’s wonderful.” He says, his arm tightening around her waist and his fingers caress her cheek. Ben always knew how to touch her so she’d melt right in his hands. She leans into the gentle affection and smiles. “Are you sure, though? You could come with me.”

            “I’m not a Jedi, Ben.” Her face falls and she pulls away, walking down the bench, her back to him. He’s left with open arms, and huffs as they fall to his side.

            “You’re a Kenobi, Zappha. The Force just hasn’t come out yet. But it’s there, I know it is. They say other Jedi can sense it.” He walks next to the bench; she’s annoyed that he’s almost as tall as her when she’s risen like this.

            “That’s not how the Force works. Can we just drop it? I really don’t want to talk about it. And anyways, I’m gonna be a medic. It’s what I want.” She makes her voice harsher than she should.

            “Consider it dropped.” Zappha knows she’s forgiven, there’s a grin in his voice.

            Ben’s hand loops in hers as he pulls her to a halt.

            “I only say it because I miss not being with you.” His eyes beam a warm blanket of brown threatening to swallow her.

            “I know.” She once again tucks away that piece of hair that always falls in his eyes.

            “When do you leave?” He asks, looking down.

            “Don’t hate me.” She looks up.

            “Zappha?”

            “Tomorrow.” She feels the rage in him, even without the Force. But before he can get mad she catches his chin in her hand and makes him look at her. “I was supposed to leave last week so be happy and don’t be a jerk. Okay?”

            He nods curtly like she’s told him it’s supposed to rain tomorrow.

            They stand in silence for a moment and she chews her lip.

            “We should get back. Rey has been jumping off the walls about going to Jedi Camp, that’s what she calls it.” Zappha hops down and starts walking, annoyed at his coldness

            “Zappha, wait.” He follows her quick steps. She doesn’t turn, not wanting him to see her tears. His perusal only speeds her up and she breaks into a run.

            Before she can react she hears his quick steps and his arms wrap around her middle, lifting her again in the air.

            “You cheated.” She complains, as he carries her to the Rover, bridal style.

            “It’s the only way I can win against you.”


	6. Chapter 6

The sentence wakes her like an electric shock, she opens her eyes to find her head resting on a soft, silken pillow and her lower half covered in a thick fur cover. Unsurprisingly her robe has been stripped off, leaving her in her undergarments, leg wraps and chest wrap.

            Zappha sits up, feeling the weight of mechanic shackles on her wrists, but her legs are free to move. Testing she swings them up in the air. Looking to her side she’s relived to see the rest of the giant bed empty. Stretching the sore muscles in her legs she swings them over the side and stands, wobbling a little before steadying herself. The dream left her shaking, she rubs her temples, trying to get the memory of his lips on her neck out of her consciousness.

The room is large, grand and black. It’s fitted with a desk fixed to one wall and the entire wall in front of her is a wide window into Space. She walks up to it slowly and places her hands on the cold fiberglass. It’s almost as if she can see every galaxy there ever was, rainbowing in front of her in deep swirls and balls of impenetrable light. How anyone could turn to the Dark Side with this much beauty in the universe is beyond her comprehension.

            The sent of steam hits her nose, she looks over to the far side of the room, on the right side of the bed a door has opened. _He_ walks out, covered only by a towel. She turns her head back to the view, not willing to indulge and reminding herself that it’s nothing she hasn’t seen before. Nothing she hasn’t seen before… _It’s been too long._ Her head gains a will of it’s own and she turns to steal a peak.

            This man who calls himself Kylo Ren is thinner than her Ben. He’s toned in places Ben never was, as if all softness had been cast from his body. Her eyes follow the towel as he drops it to the ground in front of his dresser.

            Zappha allows her eyes to trail down the curve of his hips, she stops herself when she realizes she’s biting her lower lip. A silent sigh escapes as she appreciates his impossibly long legs that always tangled around her in the night, she smiles softly remembering waking up locked in his embrace like his favorite stuffed toy, enveloped by him. Turning her head back to the view she wills the memories away.

            Ungracefully she clears her throat.

            “Awake so soon, Zappha?” He asks as she glances to the window’s reflection to see he’s dressed in his tight black pants and a long sleeve black shirt. Bare feet, as he always liked them, and his hair still drying in the stale air of the carrier. She notices the curls forming in that oil black mop of his.

            “You moved me to your bedroom.” She observes blandly.

            “I didn’t think you were comfortable in that other… place.” He answers, his voice casual.

            “Comfortable.” She sourly muses.

            “How do you like the view?” He strolls up behind her, stopping just short of touching, she doesn’t turn.

            Feeling his presence press into her she looks towards the Space on his side of the window, not meeting his eye. “You’re asking me about the view?”

            “Yes.”

            “It’s something.” She answers honestly.

            “Zappha, I think we got off on the wrong—“ He starts, shaking his head. Turning his whole body towards her, he huffs, blowing his hair out of his face. Little needles prickle the skin of her cheek, as if she can sense him watching her, waiting for her to say something.

            “What do you want from me, Ben?”

            “First off, stop calling me that. I’m not the man you remember.” His gaze is penetrating, but she doesn’t falter.

            “And I’m not the woman you remember.” She throws back.

            He chuckles. “You haven’t changed at all.” Fingers graze her arm and she forces herself to turn away from the vista of stars and retreat back to the footboard of the bed. It took everything in her not to explode right there and then. It was too much, too close.

            “What happened to you?” She asks, gripping the bedframe in anticipation of his answer.

            “I don’t know how to answer that.” He hasn’t turned away from the stars. She shutters as his voice bounces off the glass. It’s like every word he says hits her square in the back like a fist.

            “Try the truth and we’ll work from there.” She closes her eyes, not caring how fearful her energy reads. All she can do is focus on her breathing and not shaking.

            He sighs heavily, his bare feet barely make a sound as he comes up behind her. “You happened, Zappha. You died.” The words sink into the space between her shoulders like a foot stuck in fresh mud.

            “That’s not fair.” Her grip is turning her knuckles white, guilt and rage storm in her chest to the point where she can barely breathe. She’s shaking.

            “I know.” He’s barely audible.

            “You can’t put that on me. How dare you. How dare you!” She cries, spinning to face him, hitting his chest. Realizing how close he is in a moment of disorientation, she regains her wits and shoves hard, sending him stumbling backwards. “That’s not fair. That’s not—How dare you—“ She looses her control and the tears trail down her face as she faces him, eyes blazing with guilt and fury.

            “I lost you and I lost hope. I lost the light.” He pleads with her, hands up as if to calm a rabid animal.

            “You killed hundreds, thousands of innocent people! My brother! All of them!” She storms forth, her rage making her strong.

            “I didn’t kill him. I swear. I stopped them from killing Rey, I protected her for you just like I promised.” He yells back, his defenses going up.

            “You sent her alone to a junk planet! You left her there!” Zappha’s tears turn her voice to a rasp as she chokes back her emotion as if she’s trying to dam a tsunami.

            He grabs her upper arms, bringing his head down so he’s eye level with her. “I was protecting her, for you.” The earnestness is almost enough to make her fumble, but she throws her arms and out up shucking his grip off her.

            “And you try to kill her later on? So a child’s death won’t weigh on your conscious?”

            “I never tried to kill her! I wanted to help her, show her the ways of the Force.” He insists, his arms flying open, willing her to understand.

            Zappha shakes her head, exhaustion seeping into her bones as the adrenaline drains from her. “You killed him, didn’t you? You really killed anything left of Ben.” She lifts her head weakly, her chin no longer high. Her eyes dare him to disagree.

            Kylo Ren straightens his shoulders, she can almost see the gears turning in his head as he opens his mouth. “I’ve tried. But I don’t think he’ll ever be truly gone.”

            She nods, curtly and looks away unsure of what to do with his answer. Her teeth find her bottom lip and she chews, nerves shaking her body. He snaps his fingers and the shackles fall from her wrists. She rubs the red marks absently.

            “I missed you.” She looks up and he’s moved towards her again, his hands held behind his back in tight control. But his lips purse slightly and relax, telling her that he’s slowly loosing that control, he will break soon. She hopes one of them can keep it together.

            “Did you?” Is all she can will from her lips.

            “I mourned you. I still was until I saw you.” He’s inching closer, consciously or not.

            “That doesn’t excuse anything, Be—Kylo.” She bites on the name, despising the taste it leaves in her mouth.

            He looks to the side, gathering himself and then returns his gaze to her.

            “And I never stopped loving you.”

            Out of the corner of her eye she sees his arm reaching up, to touch her face, to caress her cheek and trail her jaw like he used to. Unwilling to let him she catches his wrist as it’s nearing. Zappha tries to ignore how small her hand looks next to his, how her fingers can’t even meet around his wrist. They stand in a match, both wondering if he will do it anyway.

            She pulls his arm down slowly, watching his reaction. His face just as unreadable as hers. For some reason she doesn’t let go, maybe it’s because she doesn’t want him to try again, maybe it’s because the sleeve on his shirt rose just enough so she grips bare skin.

            “Stay here. I can give you all this, everything I have. I can give you the universe, Zappha.” He’s leaning towards her and she’s not moving. “I knew you were out there, a part of me must have, because I still feel the light, the light I only ever got from you and it’s right here.” He switches their grip and wraps his long fingers around her wrist, pulling her hand up to his chest so she can feel how fast his heart is beating. Zappha’s mind tells her to pull away, it’s too close, but she doesn’t. She’s caught in his gaze like a mouse to a snake, but he’s always done that. The memory ignites something deep inside her that she’s trying hard to bury.

            His face is too close, too close and too familiar. All she can see is the tense vein in his neck and feel his heartbeat and inhale his breathe. It’s overwhelming her senses; he’s all she can hear, all she can see. Her tongue dances behind her gums remembering his taste, craving it again.

            When he leans in she’s already made up her mind to let herself be damned.

            “Let me keep you.” He breathes onto her cheek before covering her lips with his own and claiming her with his arms as he pulls her against him flush. The parts of her touching him are on fire, the ones that weren’t felt colder than Hoth. His hand slides up her back and into her hair, twining in the braid, twisting it around his hand like a rope and holding her to him and she opens her mouth to deepen the kiss.

            They battle, rougher than before, meaner and full of rage and pain and years of loss. She bites harder and he holds tighter, his muscles flexing as he rolls his body into hers. Her right leg hooks up above his hip, and he lifts her higher so her other leg can follow, supporting her easily as he turns her back towards the giant window, walking slowly until she presses against it. The cold glass stings her skin through her thin clothes. She hisses as he presses into her harder and nips down her neck, leaving a trail of bruises in his wake, creating tight crescent shapes to match his teeth.

            “Come back to me.” She gasps through the painfully pleasing nips, tangling her hands in his hair, relishing the sensation. “Come back to me.”

            He groans as his hand releases her hair and he leans back, trailing her belly and hips with his long fingers. Eyes so deep and dark she lets herself get lost in them as they roam her body. How hands belonging to someone so cruel could feel so good is beyond her. She shoves the thought away as he lifts his shirt over his head and the paleness of his torso shines sculpted in front of her. She releases his hair and the black fabric is discarded across the room.

Kylo’s face is the same as Bens, all for one addition. Her thumb starts to trace the long white scar, but before she gets far his hand wraps around her wrist like a vice and pulls it away.

“No.” Is all he says, his eyes piercing her with a black look that sends a jolt straight to her belly.

Without breaking eye contact he takes her fingers still in his grip and wraps his lips around them, sucking. Zappha gasps and he waves his hand, her tightly bound chest wrap unravels liberating her breasts. _What a use for the Force,_ she thinks mistily as the cold hits her chest.

His hand traces her back, placing her other arm over his shoulder. She grips his skin, kneading it, feeling it’s warmth, letting it seep into her. He’s the only one who ever touched her like this, and a part of her knows he’s the only one that ever will. The heat of his body is tantalizing as she cups the back of his neck and strokes where his hair roots.

With all the confidence of her old Ben he braces the glass with one hand and pulls his other around from the glass, keeping her propped up by his hips. Cupping her right breast in his hand, his thumb rounds her nipple, already hard from the chill of the air and glass. She’s heaving, her chest falling up and down as she waits patiently for him to touch it.

His smirk is hungry as he waits, amused at her need.

“Get on with it, will you?” She rasps.

Instead he leans down and kisses the side of her breast, his lips hovering right above the sensitive skin, his hand moving down to draw circles on her side. She feels her need pooling in between her legs and where his hips press into her she can feel his, hard and present.

After letting her mewl for a few moments he bites down hard, leaving a maroon mark. But licks it after, kissing softly again. With her back braced on the glass he brings his other hand to her left breast and kneads roughly. He twists the skin just hard enough to elicit little gasps from Zappha, but not hard enough to cause pain. His teeth find her sensitive nipple and tug, she screams out, her nails digging into his shoulders in retaliation. He winces and chuckles against her skin sending vibrations through her, tugging again, this time harder. She screams again and he releases her to lick the bright red nub with a flick of his tongue.

Trailing kisses down her stomach he takes his time, every few pecks is matched with a light nip. His hands yank her wrappings and undergarments off in shreds. Using the Force he throws them away, leaving her to shiver against the window with all of Space behind her.

With a gentle brush he hooks his hands under her thighs and pushes her up, her back sliding against the warming glass. Before she can comprehend what’s happening his breath hits her center and her knees bend over his shoulders, his fingers holding her hips and ass firm.

“Say please.” He murmurs against her inner thigh.

“Please, please.” She huffs, her hand clawing at his hair and her other above her head flat against the glass, waiting.

He grins into the soft skin of her thigh, his tongue tracing the freckles and growth marks until he hits home and her vision goes white. His mouth expertly swipes up and down her sex, he laps, tantalizing her swollen clit with each pass, swirling his lips around her. Zappha chokes a moan as he works, bringing her close to the edge before pulling back and just kissing the soft skin of her thighs again. Suddenly he presses his tongue against her clit hard and she lets a wail escape her lips.

 _Do you want to cum?_ He asks her with this mouth preoccupied. All Zappha can do is grunt, tugging on his hair roughly. She feels him smile into her, hum, and he nips at her sensitive clit before pulling slightly and swirling around it until she builds again.

Her world explodes with a strangled cry, he presses his tongue down as she rides out her orgasm feeling as if she were a star imploding.

Letting her drop slightly, he lifts her legs carefully up and back down to his hips as his hand trails up her panting frame. With a swift movement he lifts her and brings her to the bed, setting her down lightly on the fur cover. She watches him with bated breath as he slips off his pants, his erection full and standing in wait.

The bed doesn’t make a sound as he climbs on top of her, sinking two of his fingers into her slick hole. She gasps still over sensitive from the work of his mouth. He curls them at just the right angle and her arousal builds again with a fiery burst in her belly. He leans down and kisses her gently, tenderly, she returns the kiss with gusto enveloping him.

He presses down on her and she can feel him on her thigh, thick and beating. She kisses down his neck, smiling into his skin as she flips him over onto his back, his fingers gripping her hips firmly. Zappha looks down at him in wonder at how this is the same man. This is not Kylo Ren. This is Ben, her Ben, flushed with need, licking his lips as she hovers above him. Reaching down her hand finds his cock and she sets herself above it, watching him.

“Say please.” She breathes, her head tilts to the side, eyes sparkling.

“Please, Zappha.” And she brings herself down, not being able to go slow, needing him to fill her. Small gasps escape her lips as she impales herself on him, bringing herself up and down, hitting that spot inside her like none other. She twists her hips, and he groans, the sound reverberating through her ears and spiking her arousal. He digs his fingers into her hips and pulls her, controlling her tempo as she looses herself in pleasure and bliss. Leaning up he wraps his arm around her waist, kissing roughly through her chest. He throws her down, flipping back to on top and drives deep. Each thrust sends a shock of pleasure through her body and she clamps her nails into the skin on his mid back as he moves.

Ben’s breath is ragged in her ear as he kisses her neck and holds her hair with one hand, gently tugging her to the side so he can suck on the spot below her ear. His other hand moves between them to rub her clit until she feels her orgasm building for a second time. She moves her legs up and around him to give him better access. When her body gives into the pleasure he bites down on her shoulder and her nails rake down his back, leaving trails of hot red in their wake. Her orgasm squeezes him and he cums a few seconds after, they hold each other as they ride out their pleasure together.

Ben kisses the bite mark on her shoulder so lightly she’s not even sure he did it, only his rushed breath reminds her, making her shiver again. He rolls off her and they lay on the bed. She turns over and props herself up, leaning down to kiss him full on the lips with a tenderness they couldn’t afford before. Not without getting their passion out of their systems.

“It’s been a while, hasn’t it?” He asks, his old amusement lighting his voice. She smiles, still flushed and high from a round of great sex and lays her head on his chest, his arm wraps around her side holding her to him.

“Too long, love. Far too long.” She snuggles in, knowing what she has to do. For a moment he smells like Ben, like her Ben, who discovered every part of pleasure with her. Who taught her and let her teach him.

            “You never answered my question earlier.” He says quietly, staring into the nothingness above them.

            “I seem to have forgotten what you asked.” She sighs, not wanting him to ruin this moment.

            He chuckles, the deep rich sound sending a pulse through her limbs, she holds on tighter. “Stay? With me here. Let me keep you.” His lips are against her hair and she’s so tempted to say yes. There’s nothing more addictive than this chemistry, than love, than the feeling of his skin hot on hers and his lips pressed into her neck, his fingers twining in her hair... _You’re a Kenobi, girl. You can’t go to the Dark Side. You can’t smear your family name._ The corner of her mind where the light had been pushed for the night fights to the front of her consciousness. And wins.

            Zappha sits up, rubbing her face. He follows, still breathing heavily and starts rubbing her back in little circles. Just how she likes.

            “Ben, I love you. I always will. But, no. I wish this was enough, but it’s not.” And with that she raises her hand and sends a shock to his drained body with all of the Force she can muster. _Sleep._

He knocks out, falling back with a soft _thunk_. With shaking hands she covers him up and gets out of bed. Her mind focuses as she fumbles around in his wardrobe trying to find suitable clothes. Her undergarments are in tatters on the floor so she steals some of his and the shortest pair of pants she can fine. After digging she finds a large shirt then uses one of his belts to clinch it around her waist.

            Before leaving she looks back at him sleeping soundly on the bed and goes to him, once again having her resolution tested as she studies his peaceful face. Leaning down she kisses his forehead and tries to keep the tears from falling.

            The door opens when she clicks it and she orders the Stormtrooper Guard to buzz off, using the Force to make sure he listens. Before closing the door she turns and steals one last look.

            “Goodbye, Ben.”


End file.
